


hold onto me

by pvtcaboose



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Autistic Character, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, im bad at fluff, its not a major part of the story but its a major part.. in my heart, some angst i guess, wash gets really emotional when hes sad, wash is autistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 13:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7576594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvtcaboose/pseuds/pvtcaboose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash gets pretty emotional when he's sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold onto me

"Wake up early tomorrow, Tucker. Kimball says you've gotta train the lieutenants in the morning." Carolina said.

"Aw fuck, really? It's already like, midnight. She really expects me to wake up before noon?"

Carolina glared. "Go to sleep. You'll need it." She said, turning to go into her bunk.

Tucker shook his head and continued to walk down the corridor to the showers. He'd had a long day - training in the morning, a mission that took all afternoon, barely any lunch, target practice, then 'cooldown' training with Carolina and the other soldiers at night. Jesus, Tucker wouldn't be complaining as much if the cooldown with Carolina was what he expected it to be. Or if he had gotten some actual food that day.

It didn't matter now, anyway. Tucker was more than ready to strip himself of his heavy-as-fuck armor, take a shower and go to sleep.

Once he got to the showers, he was relieved when nobody else was in there.  
Nobody to complain about him using all the hot water while they were showering. Sweet. Tucker relieved himself of his armor and undersuit as he waited for the shower to heat up. When he got in the water felt like heaven on his sore muscles, he felt himself relaxing almost immediately. He washed himself thoroughly, and by the time he finally decided to get out, the hot water was almost cold.

He really needed that shower - not just because he felt gross after the day's work, but his muscles untightened and he felt so _relieved_. It felt great to put on loose clothing after drying off.

When Tucker actually left the showers it was well past midnight. God, now he _really_ wasn't going to wake up early.

He walked past Wash's room and stopped to knock on his door and see if he was awake, but his hand stopped just before he could when he heard noise from inside the bunk.

His first thought was ' _Sweet, Wash isn't a virgin anymore, good for him_ ' but then he realized that the noises weren't sex noises. He could hear muffled.. crying? Tucker held his ear against the door and yep, Wash was definitely crying. Which was weird, because Tucker's never seen the dude have any other emotions than neutral, angry, and.. angrier.

The door was unlocked. Tucker turned the handle as gently and quietly as possible and opened the door. The loud creak of the door hinges didn't help to not disturb Wash.

He was at the farthest corner of his bed, legs up to his chest, arms wrapped his knees, one hand held tightly around a stim toy and the side of his head pressed against the wall. Tucker could see the wetness underneath his eyes, on his cheeks. There were even spots on his shirt.

Wash looked up immediately. "Tucker," He composed himself quickly and wiped at his face, "Why aren't you asleep? Don't you have early training tomorrow?"

Tucker stood still for a second, then closed the door behind him. "Hey man, are you okay?" Wash nodded. "Okay,  
no you're not, dude, you were sobbing like two seconds ago. What's wrong?"

"..Nothing. It doesn't involve you, it's fine, Tucker."

"Bullshit."

Wash sighed and started to fidget with the item in his hands. He didn't make eye contact with Tucker and instead focused on the toy. Tucker sat on the opposite end of the bed, crossed his legs and stared at the older soldier.

"It's okay, dude." Tucker said after a minute. Wash looked up. "I mean, we're friends, right? You can talk to me."

Wash stayed silent, but nodded again. "Can I sit next to you?"

"Yeah." Wash replied.

Tucker got himself up and scooted towards Wash. He didn't know what to say - he'd never seen Wash like this. How was he supposed to comfort him?

"It's just-" Wash's breath hitched and he tighted his grip on the toy. "Everything. That's been happening. We're a _team_. God, but neither army can get along, I'm really trying, Tucker. How long did you say it took for you and the Reds to get along? And these soldiers have been killing each other for _years_. And I just- Locus and Felix could strike at any second, we've always got to be on our toes, ready for everything. But we're still losing. And it just.. takes me back. To the Project. I hate it, so much, Tucker."

Tucker stared at Wash. "That's the most I've ever heard you talk at once."

"God, Tucker." Washingon turned his head to face the wall and he blinked to get the tears out of his eyes.

"Wait, fuck, Wash, I'm sorry. I know this shit sucks. I'm living through it, too. Not exactly the same as you, but we've both gotta lot of pressure on us, I get it." Tucker set his hand on Wash's shoulder and turned him so he could face the younger man.

"Tucker.." Wash started, but before he could start to talk tears welled up in his eyes and he was back to sobbing. He mumbled among his cries, trying to face away from Tucker to hide his embarrassment of being seen. Tucker rubbed his back comfortingly, and pulled him closer by the waist. "God, I'm sorry- I shouldn't let you get worried over this."

"It's okay. I'm here for you, man, really I am." Tucker hesitated for a moment before talking again. "I know it's gotta be hard, harder for you, I guess, to be in the middle of all of this. 'Cause you've been through a lot of shit, and I have to but not as much so I don't really know if I'm qualified to be giving you advice like this. But, uh, I do think that we stand a chance against the pirates. I know I say negative shit all the time but I'm scared, too. I.. I want you to know that I'm here. For you. Whenever you need me. You can be a pain in the ass sometimes-" Wash chuckled a little at that. "-but you really are one of my best friends. This is some sappy shit, I'm sorry Wash, but I just want you to know that you're not alone."

Wash turned his head and looked at Tucker. He smiled at the older man, and Wash could feel his cheeks burning up.

Washington turned his body so he was leaning his side against Tucker. They stared at each other too long for comfort, Wash's eyes wide and staring into Tucker's like he was reading his mind.

"Can I kiss you?" Wash whispered.

Tucker's breath hitched. "God, you're really emotional right now, aren't you? Aw, wait. Don't turn away, I didn't mean to.. okay, fuck it." Tucker stuttered and closed the space between their lips as gently as he could.

Washington pressed into the kiss, holding his hands together. Tucker placed his hands on both sides of his face, wiping away the wetness with his thumbs. This just made Wash want to cry more - he's never felt this safe with anyone before.

Tucker broke away from the kiss, but kept their foreheads together. "I'm here for you." He whispered, eyes still closed. Wash hummed.

"Will you.. stay with me? For tonight?" Wash asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course."

Tucker started to lay down and patted Wash's arm so he would do the same. Wash laid down facing him, and Tucker brought the blanket from the end of the bed over the both of them.

"Jesus, this thing is heavy."

"Oh, it's.. custom. If you don't like it I have a regular one near the bottom of the bed.."

"No, it's fine." Tucker kissed Wash's forehead. "It makes me feel.. safer. Especially with you." He grinned.

Wash nodded. "Me, too. Do you want to sleep? I think.. I think I might be able to tonight."

Tucker nodded and put his arm around Wash's waist. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Night, Wash."

"Goodnight, Lavernius."

That night was one of the first in years where Wash didn't have a nightmare.

 

**Author's Note:**

> *tucker wakes up next to wash in a cold sweat* t..this doesnt mean im gay or anything right???


End file.
